Please Don't Eat the Furniture

I try to take TV journalism seriously. I really do.

But sometimes I can’t help myself.

The local chapter of the International Interior Design Association was holding its annual Edible Chair Contest. Professional and student interior designers had fabricated furniture from food. Contest rules specified the entries should not only be in good taste but also mostly fit for human consumption.

This was the recipe for a good laugh.

3 tablespoons margarine
10 oz. marshmallows
6 cups Rice Krispies

The night before I whipped up a batch of Rice Krispie treats and attempted to mold the raw material into a Barbie-scale armchair with M and M accents

The next day at the contest there was a Cheesy chair upholstered with sliced Swiss and set atop a shag rug of a blend of fine Italian cheeses, a Top Ramen student chair, and a red fruit leather chair with a jellied lemon candy pillow.

During the taping of the story, I quietly removed my unofficial entry from a shoebox (left in the freezer overnight to keep my furniture from melting) and placed it on the display table.

The camera followed the feature reporter as he inspected the entries and then picked up a chair and took a bite out of it.

Judges heads turned.

An interior design student approached. “You can’t to that!”

“I can’t?” I said.

Alas, my fabulous furniture design did not place in the contest.

But I was not disappointed.

It’s always a good day at work when you can expense breakfast cereal.